I’ve Never Heard Anyone Say, “Hell Maybe!”

“Wishy washy” has recently been a recurrent theme showing up in my life through various people and situations, and because I’m recognizing it on the outside, I know it’s a reflection of something going on with me on the inside.  I have been wasting quite a bit of time and energy on “settling”…Soooo I’ve decided to adopt the philosophy of “If it’s not a ‘Hell YES!’, it’s a ‘Hell NO!’”…..Have you ever heard anyone say, “Hell Maybe!”? I think not!

This really has to do with getting rid of “good enough” to make room for the GREAT… Why waste time and energy on just settling for “good enough” when it’s the same energy you could use to create GREAT in your life? It boils down to making a decision.  The origin of the word “decide” literally means “to cut off” so you could say that once you decide on GREAT then you are cutting away the “good enough”.  Now keep in mind, GREAT can only be defined from an individual’s own perspective; what may be GREAT to one person definitely may not fit into another person’s vision of GREAT.

I’ve found it to be deeply empowering to use this as a razor for basically everything in my life from the clothes that I buy to the men that I date.  When I go shopping with my friend, Karen, she’ll try something on and say, “I like it, but I don’t LOVE it” then she promptly puts it back on the shelf.  I have committed to only buying clothes that I LOVE…. If I don’t LOVE it, it goes back on the rack because I know it’s only going to take up space in my closet for a couple of years and then end up in the pile that goes to Goodwill.

The same goes for dating… if I don’t have goose bumps and feel excited right out of the gate AND feel that it’s mutual, I know it’s time to cut my ties in the “romantic” sense right away.  (Of course, it’s definitely cool to remain friends if possible.)  I know from being on both sides of the fence on this one that it serves the best interest of everyone involved and can spare a lot of unnecessary heartache down the road.

I invite you to try out the “If it’s not a ‘Hell Yes!’, it’s a “Hell No!’” philosophy with me… every time you ask yourself a question tune in to what kind of feeling you have. For instance, do you feel all tingly and like you are getting a hug from the inside out (a lifegasm) or is there even the slightest twinge of dread? The first definitely qualifies as a “Hell Yes!” where the second is an unequivocal “Hell No!” Make space for the things that reeeeally get you excited.  Do you really want a life full of “maybes”?  I don’t think so.

Much Love, Laughter, and Lifegasms,



Add a comment August 24, 2010

What is a Lifegasm?

People often ask me, “What is a Lifegasm?”  So I thought I should clarify…

Lifegasms are really a philosophy for life… Living “in the moment” with passion and a spirit of fun and effervescence… To get a little deeper into the philosophy, I decided to give you an excerpt from the book I co-authored, Manifest Success Vol. 2…  I hope you enjoy! 🙂

A Lifegasm A Day…

If you’re thinking, “Really…what is a lifegasm?” Start by identifying a meaning for the word “Life”. It has many definitions; one I really like is: ‘The force that makes or keeps something alive’ (www.dictionary.com). Life is correlated to a capacity for growth. Other synonyms of life include spirit, effervescence, or sparkle.

The term “gasm” is, of course, derived from the word orgasm. The origin stems from the Greek word “orgasmos” meaning “to be excited”. In this chapter, I encourage you to look beyond the sexual connotation and focus on the aspect of channeling positive and exciting energy that requires being in the moment.

Think of “gasm” as an intensity of pleasurable feelings and excitement. When people are having fun and in touch with intense pleasurable feelings, it opens up channels of creativity and communication. People feel more confident and free to express themselves. Fun eliminates barriers. As my friend, David Neagle says, “Gasms are good for the soul.”

I define “lifegasm” as the force of keeping intense pleasurable feelings alive with spirit and effervescence. Lifegasms are all about having fun and not taking ourselves too seriously (or anyone else for that matter). Lifegasms are those moments that we feel intense excitement for life. They are about living IN the moment and really appreciating everything the “now” has to offer. After all, our “nows” are what ultimately build our lives.

The truth is, lifegasms can be found almost anywhere if you are open to seeing them. You can find them in the moments when you just cannot hold back your laughter or when you feel bubbles of inspiration. It’s in those bursts of creativity to write a poem or even start a new business, as well as in those moments when you can’t hold back the tears of joy or appreciation; those exhilarating moments when you step into faith to play a bigger game in your life. Lifegasms are about tuning in to yourself and BEING who you are in your deepest and most authentic sense.

If you would like more information, please feel free to contact me at info@sherryfetzer.com

Plus you can stop in and visit http://lifegasms.com or http://sherryfetzer.com

Much Love, Laughter, and Lifegasms,


Add a comment April 15, 2010

Shut up and JUMP!!! A lesson in trust from Bloukrans Bridge….

“Are you sure these are tight enough?” I ask Ettian, my designated jump assistant at Bloukrans Bridge in South Africa, also known as the “World’s Highest Bungy”.  “Yes”, he says calmly.  I don’t even know him, but I know that at this point, I have to trust him with my life.

My heart is racing, this is my first experience of bungee jumping, and my mind is trying (notice I said “trying”) to steer clear of thoughts of plunging to my death with a rubber band tied around my ankles.  With bare feet, my toes are hanging over the edge as the vertigo sets in when I peer over into the gorge to the small creek down below, a distance of 216 meters (708 feet).

The instructions from Ettian’s lips are simple, but seem like an enormous task at that moment, “Keep your eyes on the horizon, arms open wide, and jump forward.” Ba-bom, ba-bom, ba-bom, ba-bom… my heart is racing even faster almost a roar in my ears. I can barely hear Ettian say, “5, 4,3, 2, 1, Bungy!!”  There’s no time to think….just trust!  My feet leave the cold (yet safe) concrete of the bridge… Despite the dizziness, I manage to go forward then gravity sets in, bringing my heart into my throat as my body swooshes downward.  The beautiful gorge is whizzing by in a blur… then bouncing up and down around me… oh, wait a minute, that’s me bouncing…

The next thing I know, the only audible sound is the wind gusting through the gorge as I dangle upside down by my ankles, peering at the trickling creek below me.  I feel the absolute exhilaration of being alive, and the words of Madonna’s song, “Jump”, come into my head, “Are you ready to jump? Get ready to jump; don’t ever look back.”

The experience was a great metaphor for life, “Shut up and JUMP!!”  Keep your eyes on the horizon of where you want to go; keep your arms wide with your heart open; and jump forward.  I have definitely been doing a lot of jumping since that experience; some big and others not-so-big, but jumping all the same.

Of course, the ideal would be to have a beautiful graceful swan dive every time, but usually it’s not so pretty.   And at times, it’s a grasping on until the last pinky finger has been pried away by some outside force.   Even if I don’t’ really want to jump at first, I have truly begun to trust that everything works out for the best—that is something I can count on 100%, even if I don’t fully understand it in that moment.  I’ve been so blessed to live some amazing experiences and every time they started from some form of a leap of faith.

So my advice to you is just have a little faith, shut up and JUMP…. Whether it is something small like changing a hairstyle or something bigger like trusting someone with your emotions or even taking the leap of starting a new business or career…. Start the habit of trust and take a few leaps in your life…. You’ll find a juicier and more exhilarating experience waiting to be discovered…..

Much Love and Adventure,



1 comment November 12, 2009






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